North to Alaska!

A Vacuven?

I'm rearranging some pictures and came across this one I took of one of our moving boxes.  I have no idea what a Vacuven is, but it came out of the basement. 

Good Morning!

Yes, it's 2:00 a.m. I'm up and figured I'd get some work done since I don't seem to be going back to sleep anytime soon.  The reason I'm up is due to Fort Greely's Operation SPOC (Sleep Prevention of the Carrolls)  I was going to call it Operation SPAC (Sleep Prevention at the Carrolls), but SPOC is a cooler acronym.  Did you know you can't get anything approved in the military unless it has a good acronym?  It's true.  When they line up for project approval, if somebody has something like a Surefire Plan for World Peace, SPWP, that won't get approval because it doesn't spell anything.  Something like Pay A Billion for a Seat, Toilet (PABST) will get approval for sure because it is not only a word, but it it spells something that is (or was) a real word.  I think they stopped making Pabst Beer...

Anyway, I digress.  Operation SPOC involves parking vehicles in front of our house and running them in the wee hours of the morning.  Preferably diesel vehicles and preferably with with flashing lights.  Early Saturday a.m., it was a stalled snow machine.  When I looked out the side door after hearing "Whum-whum-whum, whum-whum-whum" for a little while (Steve didn't hear it until I woke him up to listen--he would miss a lot of sounds at night if I didn't wake him up), I saw a red light that flashed in unison with the "whum-whum-whum".  Through my bleary eyes, I thought it was some kind of explosive out in the road.  Now I put my glasses on when I'm looking outside in the dark.  Tonight, it was a fire truck parked in the road between our house and the school. 

You can tell I'm a parent based on my response to the flashing lights and running engine.  I didn't think, "Wow, I hope there's nothing terrible happening in the school!"  I thought, "Nuts!  I hope this doesn't keep Robert from attending school tomorrow!"

Double Dog Dare

The temperature has been hovering right around twenty and the high teens for quite some time and I was pleasantly surprised that it really didn't feel all that cold.  At twenty, I could stil go outside for a minute with only a T-shirt and you can stay for awhile with a sweatshirt or sweater on (and pants).  I've been wondering at what temperature it really begins to feel cold.  Twelve degrees seems to be that temperature.  That's the temperature this morning and I was out shoveling in it. 

When I finished, I came in, took off my coat and gloves (if you are looking for good gloves for the Arctic region, find Gordini gloves) and went out the back door because the dogs were acting like there was steak running around in the backyard.  There wasn't.  It was pretty cold, but I thought I'd pick up some of their deposits while I was out there.  Did  I mention that I'd taken off my gloves.  The handle for the scooper is metal.  I took the winter safety class and it started coming back to me, "Always leave your gloves on.  If you touch anything metal and your hands have the slightest bit of moisture, it'll be like putting your tongue on a flagpole in the winter."  My hand was just slightly stuck, but I was thinking how ridiculous it would have been to have to go to the clinic to get a dog pooper scooper removed from my hand.  I might have just had them leave it--it would have been a timesaver and maybe they could have surgically attached something else, like a telescoping grabber thing, to my left hand.  Then I'd be super efficient.  Transcription would be a little difficult, unless someone actually said, "qiwoe;pghsdearg  30892eiorew", then I'd be all set and could get a pretty good hourly rate!

Not a Follower

People are usually proud that their kids are not followers.  But sometimes...  This morning, Robert didn't want to get up.  He was too tired from all the heavy lifting and hard labor he does on a daily basis.  It's hard work being twelve, I guess.

He was sitting at the table eating breakfast, looking out the window at his friends running to school.  Running because IT'S TIME FOR SCHOOL TO START!  I went in and said, "Do you see all those people running to school?  Don't you think you should run to school?"  As the words came out of my mouth, in my head I was hearing my voice  say (and my mother's before me, and her mother's before her, and so on back to the point the voices were speaking in German and Irish) "Just because all your friends jump off a cliff, does that mean you should, too?"  Apparently, yes.

Moosapalooza

I was out shoveling the driveway this morning as the kids were getting ready for school and saw lots of moose tracks.  There must have been a Moosapalooza all around our house last night.  The tracks go around trees, zig-zag across our yard and the yard next door.  And they looked like pretty small hoofprints.  It was probably those no-good teen moose hanging out and up to no good!

A Little Dark in the A.M.

Here is a picture of Katelyn getting on the bus yesterday.  Winter is here!

Little Things Amuse Me...

Bwah ha ha!  Robert got up early this morning, so I offered to make him breakfast.  He usually has cereal or oatmeal, but this morning I offered to make him sausage and toast.  I did this simply because I wanted to feed him yak sausage (see post below).  What a rotten mother!  Robert has a discriminating palate--he usually only eats "normal" food, the most exotic thing he'll eat is a chicken breast with barbeque sauce.  He has said he isn't going to try any moose or any other weird thing.  The weirdest thing I can thing of right now, (that I can buy) is yak. 

I served up one and he ate it.  I asked him if he liked it.  He said it was okay, but he'd probably rather eat a hot dog.  Then he ate a second one.  I haven't told him it was yak.  I'll probably wait until he eats another one.

Delta Meat & Sausage

The Outdoors Girlz had a field trip to Delta Meat & Sausage to see how meat is processed after it's field dressed (I think that means its wrapper is taken off).  The week prior, our group leader had bagged (that's how Outoor Girlz talk) an elk at a game farm--I missed that one.  So I went this week to the processing place.  Here are some photos.  If you have a weak stomach, you'll probably want to skip them!  At the time we were there, they were doing a beef cut on a buffalo.  Look at those ribs!  Now you see where the Flintstones got theirs?

I did learn the difference between a porterhouse and a T-bone--it's a little piece of tenderloin on the porterhouse that isn't on the T-bone.  If you're going to pay the price difference, make sure your porterhouse has a good-sized piece of tenderloin on it.

I also purchase some souvenirs.  I was thinking about a yak steak, but at $17 a pound, I just couldn't do it: 

Mom's Minivan Driving Simulator

In my last post, I mentioned the ride to Fairbanks. This post is about the ride back to Fort Greely from Fairbanks.  It inspired me to think up a driving simulator.  Passing a test in this type of simulator should be required for anyone who wants to get a driver's license and have children.  Or, they could install them at Chuck E. Cheese or Dave & Buster's.

Here it is:  You would climb into a simulator that looks like the interior of a minivan.  It would have french fries between the seats and crayons melted on the carpet by the door.  You hold onto the steering wheel with your left hand and a Whack-A-Mole paddle with your right.  Your right hand hangs over the back of the driver's seat.  You put your money in and something built into the seat starts kicking you rhythmically in the kidneys.

You choose from a menu on a touch screen among scenarios such as The Big Dig, Washington, D.C. at Rush Hour Any Time of the Day or Night, New York City, or The Richardson Highway Between Fairbanks and Delta Junction.  I'd choose The Richardson Highway.  Here's how the game goes. 

You begin backing up.  The minute the car gets in drive, a Weebles-looking kid from the back seat pops up and says "I need to go to the bathroom".  Hit the Weebles kid with the Whack-A-Mole paddle.  One point.  Continue on (you're still being kicked in the kidneys).  As you hit the main road, snow comes.  Turn on your high beams.  Can't see because the snow is flying at you.  Put on a the low beams.  Lose a point.

Continue on.  Multiple Weebles kids in the back start popping up and saying things like "Are we there yet?",  "He's touching me", "I'm bored", "I'm hungry", "I want to watch whatever DVD we don't have" "She's looking at me"  Hit them all with the Whack-A-Mole paddle.  Ten points.

Give it some gas.  A moose on the side of the road starts to come into your path.  Swerve.  Two points.

You're still receiving regular blows to your kidneys.  I think you should get five points for that.

Every time a trailer truck goes by in the opposite direction, all of the light, blowing snow it is carrying behind it comes along and blinds you.  Whee, this is fun!

Another trailer truck goes by, after you come out of the snow fog, see the moose in the road.  It's not about to move.  Slam on the brakes.  Put all the Weebles kids back in their holes.  Five points.

Hit the Weebles kids with the Whack-A-Mole paddle again.  Ten points.  Weebles kids continue their complaining.  Every time you miss one, the decibel level in your little simulated minivan gets higher and higher until the engine cuts off and a voice says:  "You lose.  You have made me pull this car over!"

Winterizing the Van

I drove to Fairbanks (by myself) this past Tuesday to get the van winterized.  This included installing a battery heater, an oil pan heater and an engine block heater.  Luckily, my friends at Automotive Services Company, a Honda dealer in Fairbanks, Alaska was able to spend six hours on what they estimated to be a three hour job.  I took their shuttle to Wal-Mart and got my "stuff" shopping done and then I spent the other four and a half hours in their waiting room.  One of their chairs has no stuffing in the seat, just the upholstery and wooden slats.  It was that way before I got there--well maybe a little worse after I left.  Did I mention it took six hours?

I really didn't mind the solitude of the drive.  It was nice to actually complete a thought and listen to music that wasn't performed by Hannah Montana.